Well, my first contract position is humming along, but it doesn’t have the SPARK that I’m looking for. Has that ever happened to you? I was SOOOO excited for this position, I literally cried after the interview. I cried – I was so overcome with emotion and the desire to get the job, that I cried, and yet here I am, over it. And by “over it”, I mean I’ve realized the daily type of work is not what I want. I really enjoy working with the people and the purpose of the organization and the meaningfulness of the work, but the work is a direction I’ve realized I don’t want to go in. There are so many directions I can go with marketing, so it seems inevitable that I would have to narrow down my niche.
So I’m going to take this sparkless work and I’m going to consider it a win. I thought I was going to LOVE working on my current project, but it turns out it doesn’t create the giddy excitement in me that I want to have when I sit down to work. At first, I thought it would. I had the excitement anyone would have, with a new job – but that quickly faded as I began doing the work and creating the marketing collateral after working a full 8+ hours at my day job. For a brief moment, I doubted myself. I thought “See, this is why you can’t create your own business – this is why you can’t pursue your own dreams.” But that was just the nagging doubt that affects us all. For a brief second, I thought I wouldn’t be good at my job and that I wouldn’t love owning my own business. Then I realized that wasn’t true, I just wasn’t believing in myself. I know I need to have the confidence to move forward and that’s what I’m going to do – be confident in myself and know that my journey isn’t straight, but has twists and turns and ups and downs. Because that is life!
Now, you might be thinking – wait up, “How can she possibly expect to be giddy about work?” – I ask you “Why not?” I do LOVE certain aspects of my job I DO get giddy when I can work on creative projects. So, if I’m creating my own dream job of contract positions, why shouldn’t I love what I do? If you’re going to dream, dream big, right?
So, while I’m completely capable doing what I’m doing, I have realized it doesn’t spark my passion like other marketing work. And, what I want is passion in my work. I want to LOVE what I do and feel like I’m making a difference. So what now? Well, I briefly thought about ditching the job. But, that just isn’t me. I can’t drop the job just because I don’t love it. In fact, I think it’s a good thing I’m not loving it. I currently work at an organization with a small marketing department and I wear many hats. One of the perks of wearing many hats is that I don’t just do one thing day-in and day-out, but I get to work on a variety of marketing (and more!) tasks. So, when I look for possible consulting positions, I can truly fulfill a range of work from strategy to branding to digital marketing and analytics. How else could I narrow down my expertise, except for trial and error?
What I’m trying to say is that if you try something and decide you don’t like it – that’s a good thing! You need to narrow down your choices because the possibilities are endless, and sadly, our time isn’t. We have limited time to do what we want and we need to choose wisely. But we won’t know if we have made the right choice or not, until we try. So, just try! Like we tell our kids, try and try again. Eventually you will get it. So, when the spark is missing, figure out why and then try something else!
Woman in Process 